Imagine a devoted, loving husband building a house for his wife and children. Not just any house, but a house tailor-made for them, with every possible luxury and convenience, with every aspect of beauty and style. A place where they can feel contented, relaxed, at ease, protected and safe. A place for them to shine.
Imagine that the family becomes comfortable in their new surroundings and fail to fully appreciate the time, effort, money and luxuries. They take the expensive trimmings for granted, forgetting to thank their father/husband. Over time, the family even starts to c”v forget their husband/father altogether, too caught up in the material world to notice the bond slipping. Not only do they forget to appreciate all he has given them, but they fail to realise that the true purpose of all these fancy luxuries was only to enhance his connection with them. They are so consumed by the delicious icing, they forget the cake…and the very existence of the baker in the process!
Finally, the husband sees that his gift is backfiring, that instead of the gift bringing him closer, the family have failed to accept it properly and it is driving a wedge between them. But in his kindness, he does not take the house away from them. Rather, he takes himself away, spending more and more time away from home until he does not spend any more time at home.
Do the family even notice? In an effort to open their eyes, the devoted, patient husband leaves his family notes every now and then, reminding them of his existence. As time passes, he includes warnings in his notes, instructing them that he will not return unless all the family gather together and cry out for his return. With a full heart, with tears, with true yearning and beseeching in their hearts.
Hashem has given us this world as a gift. It is full of beauty, luxury, tailor made for us. It is here for us to enjoy, but only as a means to connecting to Him. Instead, we have become distracted and confused by it. We have become so caught up in it that we fail to appreciate Him and see His Presence here. In order to open our eyes and see the error of our ways, He has taken Himself away. Waiting, just waiting for us to call out in unison. To beseech Him to return. To feel remorse and vow never to forget Him again.
The three weeks is the time to feel this remorse. To remember what it could have been, should have been. If only we had remembered to continue our connection to the Source of all Goodness.
But it can and will be again. When? We must open up and read his notes! He will return. Just as soon as we all reach this place deep inside, and call out in unison our remorse and repentance.
We may not enjoy this place of sorrow. The truth hurts. And eating humble pie is not nearly as tasty as feasting off the apple variety. But remember, an apple is what led to man’s original sin in the first place! We think we are waiting for geula to come. But it is Hashem Who is waiting. Waiting for a sign that we are ready for Him to return. Waiting for our confirmation that we will no longer become distracted by his fancy gifts and forget Him in the process. Waiting for us to reach such a deep place of remorse and yearning for Him, that together we show Him we really mean it. Then, He will hear us and come back. B’imhera B’Yamenu Amen Selah..
Do you remember your baby going through a stage of separation anxiety? I recall learning in psychology about object permanence. Babies who have not yet mastered this concept think that everything that goes out of sight even momentarily is gone for good. And they became extremely and disproportionately distraught as a result. So, for instance, if they were in their mother’s presence, and their mother went into the other room, they would cry as soon as they parted from her, believing she no longer existed because they could not see her. They do not believe that just because something is out of sight, it can still exist, and even be close by.
We are all suffering separation anxiety due to a faulty object permanence regarding the Schechinah. We cannot see Hashem’s Presence, and so we become anxious as a result. The Three Weeks is a time when the Shechina is felt to be in exile even more profoundly. We have not yet done what we can to make it rest on us again. So we cry. Like a baby. Worried that the Shechina and the Beit Hamikdash will never come back. And forgetting that we have the power to make them return. By doing Teshuva, growing and being the best we can be. Doing tikkun Olam so the seemingly permanent exile is ended.
And then, when that glorious return happens, bimhera b’yamenu, we will may still feel like a baby, but this time “kagamul alai imach”, like a suckling child at the side of its’ mother (Tehillim 131:2), once again. Ken Yehi Ratzon!
In our Shacharit davneing we recite the words “Yaakov bachor lo Hashem Yisrael l’segulato.” (For Yaakov was selected for his own by G-d as His treasure). The Artscroll Siddur includes a commentary by Siach Yitzchak on this pasuk, explaining that “Yaakov” represents the multitude of Jews, the general population, while Yisrael represents the great tzaddikim. While Hashem chooses even ordinary Jews as His own people, “Yisrael” is the echelon, the cream of the crop, His treasure.
At this time of year when we all find ourselves in national mourning, we may worry. Is only the teshuva of truly great people to be accepted? What if we are not “great”? How can all of us help Hashem’s Shechina to return if we are simply part of the ordinary group, the multitude of Jews, the Yaakovs? If we do not fit into Hashem’s “treasured” group, then how can we hope to help bring about the Geula? Is this role only reserved for His treasured few?
Surely not. Each and every Jew has the potential to be great. When Rav Zusia was contemplating his end he was trembling. A student asked him what he was worried about. Rav Zusia explained that he was he worried that the Heavenly Court would ask him why he was not like Moshe Rabbenu. However, he was worried that he would be asked “Why weren’t you like Rav Zusia?” In other words, the only question that determines whether or not we are great is whether we manage to fulfil our own personal, individual potential.
Instead of worrying about whether we fit into the multitude or the treasured group, perhaps we can realise that each of us has the opportunity and potential to be great. Yaakov Avinu was one person with two names and two identities. His first name and identity represented the period of his life when he endured struggles and hardships. His second name of Yisrael represented that time when he had managed to overcome these obstacles and challenges, when he reached his pinnacle and fulfilled his potential.,
We all have a Yaakov and a Yisrael aspect inside of ourselves. Let’s reach deep and strive to fulfil our own, unique potential and become Hashem’s treasured people once again. Let’s focus on overcoming our own, private, personal struggles, barriers and challenges. And in doing so, let’s join together to build the third, final and permanent Beit Hamikdash – one, heavy, precious, golden brick at a time.
Wishing you a Shabbat Shalom full of treasured moments towards Geula!
With bracha
Chaiya Danielle Ledder