In this week’s Parsha, Moshe continues to teach Bnei Yisrael about the laws they are to keep when they enter the Land of Israel, including the special laws of shemitta.
Moshe sorely wanted to enter Eretz Yisrael, primarily so that he could put into practice these special laws pertaining to the Land. Yet, despite praying 515 times for this outcome, his request was denied. Though far above our level, on a madrega that we cannot even fathom, surely as a human being it must have been very difficult for Moshe to teach Bnei Yisrael the laws of shemmita while knowing that he would not be able to put such laws into practice himself. And due to his greatness and keenness to do the mitzvot, surely on some level Moshe may have felt that he was missing out. Teaching these precious mitzvot to Bnei Yisrael may have felt like rubbing salt in his own wound.
Yet, Hashem is never cruel and there is always a good reason for everything that He decides. Perhaps the teaching of such laws like Shemita to Moshe’s people was not salt, but actually acted like a balm to Moshe, especially with his level of emuna. How so? Let’s explore.
One explanation may be that perhaps Moshe’s greatness meant that in teaching the laws to others, he felt a level of satisfaction in knowing that these mitzvot would now be practiced. His level of achdut meant that instead of feeling bereft that he personally could not practice them, Moshe felt actualised that he was able to help others practice them, as it says “Moshe sameach b’chelko” (content with his portion, see Mincha davening for Shabbat).
There may be another explanation. In the morning brachot we read an extract from the Gemara which lists the mitzvos the practice of which is rewarded both in this world and the World to Come (see Talmud, Shabbos 127a). These including honouring parents, visiting the sick and absorption in prayer. At the end of the list, the Gemara teaches “v’talmud Torah k’neged kulam.” This is translated in the Artscroll siddur as “and Torah study is equivalent to them all.”
This may be understood on a peshat (simple) level as the mitzvah of Torah study is equivalent in value (in this world and the world to Come) to all the mitzvot listed before it combined. That is, its spiritual value surpasses all the others.
However, perhaps there is a slightly different interpretation, specifically of the word “k’neged”. Perhaps the Talmud is not necessarily teaching us that Torah study is equivalent to the sum total of all the other mitzvos listed. Rather, regarding those mitzvot listed that one cannot put into practice in reality for whatever reason, learning about the laws is sufficient and of equivalent value. So for example, for those who cannot practice kivud av v’em, honouring their parents because they c”v are orphans, if they learn the laws of this mitzvah in the Torah, this Torah learning is equivalent to if they had been able to actually honour their parents in practice.
Moshe wanted to enter Eretz Yisrael and yet was denied this. However, was he deprived of the spiritual value of practising such laws? Hashem appointed him to be “Rabbenu”, our teacher. Hashem taught Moshe the laws of shemitta and other laws that can only be practised in the Land and appointed him to teach them to Bnei Yisrael. By learning and teaching the halachot and details pertaining to these laws of the Land, Moshe was given the opportunity to fully enjoy the fruits of these laws, both in this world and the World to Come. Even though in this world it did not appear that Moshe was able to practice such laws (and thus earn any reward for them), by learning and teaching them over, he was arguably still obtaining equivalent reward.
When we find ourselves in situations where we want to practice certain positive mitzvot but seem to be denied them, we might comfort ourselves by reminding ourselves that Hashem did not want us to perform this particular mitzvah at that time. And that performing such a positive mitzvah was obviously not good for us. But we can also seek solace in the fact that though we cannot perform the physical mitzvah itself, we surely can gain spiritual value, arguably even equivalent value, by learning the details and the parameters from the Torah.
Recently, we watched some “home movies” of when our children were younger. It was entertaining, fascinating and left us with a good, warm and fuzzy feeling. But then I reflected. Of course we were left with a smile. We only videoed those wonderful, positive moments. That’s what the edit button is for. By the time we cut out all the moments that we do not even record in the first place, and then edit out all the videos that did not even get shown on screen, we are left with a very rosy picture.
Rosy, but not completely accurate. True, but not the whole truth.
Welcome to Chodesh Elul. Chazal teach that Elul stands for “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li.” (I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me). Elul is a time of teshuva, leading up to the Aseret Yemei Teshuva and Yom Kippur.
In Hilchot Teshuva the Rambam sets out four steps of teshuva involve “remorse”, “confess”, “resolve never to do it again”, and actually being in the same situation and not doing the act again. The first and most primary step is “remorse”. If we deliberately avoid playing the less than favourable videos in our minds eye while doing cheshbon hanefesh for our teshuva process, we may leave our memory lane with a smile. But not necessarily with anything useful for our teshuva process.
One of the key ingredients for effective teshuva is honesty and self-awareness. Where are our “warts”, and can we see them and accept them for what they are? Only when we have the courage to watch home movies of our lesser endearing moments whether it be an adult temper tantrum or a doubt of Hashem, a smidgen of smugness or a dollop of dishonesty can we feel ready to embark on our teshuva process in truth.
How can we apply this lesson to our parenting practice this week?
When we notice we made a mistake in our relationship with our family members, often the best and bravest thing to do is acknowledge it to ourselves. And then to admit it to the relevant family member. In this way, we can teach by example to our children how to carry out these fundamental steps of teshuva. And use Elul as it is meant to be used. To change, improve and B’ezrat Hashem grow.
Wishing you a beautiful Shabbas and a meaningful, effective and life-changing Elul!
With bracha
Chaiya Danielle Ledder