In his parsha sheet this week, Rabbi Ledder discusses Moshe’s struggle to work out how to build the Menorah. The Gemara (Menuchot 29b) teaches that there were three things Moshe struggled to understand, the Menorah, HaChodesh (the month) and Sheratzim (insects).
Rabbi Ledder teaches that the first letter of each of these three things that Moshe did not understand can be rearranged to spell Moshe’s name. Similarly, the last letters of each of these three things can spell Moshe’s name. Rabbi Ledder also mentioned the idea that our name represents our essence. We are taught that parents have a touch of nevuah when naming their child as the name signifies their destiny and tafkid or purpose towards which they are travelling. The fact that the Moshe’s name is made up of the letters of each of the three things he had to struggle through is indicative of the fact that our struggles define our goals. In other words, rather than what we are born with or what comes easily to us, it is our struggle, hard work and challenges that lead us to fulfil our true essence and purpose.
This is also supported by the idea that that man is in this World to struggle and this is his whole raison d’etre – to improve the flaws in our character and ultimately “tikkun olam”, the fixing of this world.
As well as an individual and unique tikkun, we as Jews also share a common tikkun. Perhaps the word “olam” gives us a clue to what this is.
Olam means world, but it shares a root with the Hebrew world “elem” meaning concealment. When Adam and Chava first committed the original sin, they were punished by being sent out into the world and Hashem hid His Presence. Thus, He was concealed. The fact is, He is still present, but we cannot see His Presence easily. This is the substance of our punishment.
In Breishit we learn that Adam was punished with “by the sweat of your brow you shall earn your bread.” On a superficial level, we may assume that the punishment is simply that man must now work hard for his supper, to earn a living. But perhaps there is a deeper meaning to this. The passuk does not simply say “you shall sweat” ie work hard, but “to earn your bread.” Arguably, the deeper punishment is the fact that when man works hard and then obtains his “bread”, in this world of concealment where Hashem has hidden, man is fooled into thinking that it is his own hard work that has led to his reward/income/sustenance.
If we see our hard work being connected to results time and time again, it may be natural to assume that there is a causal link between the two. This erroneous presumption leads us to be much more likely to exclude Hashem from the equation, c”v. Instead of realising that the world is actually constantly being created every moment by Hashem and that we have no control over the results at all. In turn, this may lead to both over-emphasis on hishtadult and to arrogance. It is much more difficult to have emuna and see Hashem’s hand in everything when nature is “flowing smoothly” and the sweat of our brow is repeatedly rewarded with results.
Thus, the true and deeper punishment can be described as fool’s gold. If we are so full of fool’s gold, we are deterred from digging further and actually uncovering the true gold that lies hidden deeper.
That is why Moshe’s struggle to visualise and create the Menora was actually such a blessing and considered such a highlight of his life as to share a letter of his name. His failure to achieve a result despite his hard work forced him to turn to Hashem and then to beg Hashem and rely on Him for assistance.
Any event that forces us to turn to Hashem and plead is enhancing our relationship with HaKadosh Baruch Hu and thus reducing His concealment in this World. For instance, Hashem purposely created plants which needed water to grow in order for Adam to be encouraged to turn to Him and beg him to send the rain.
There is a beautiful story of a man who saw a half-grown butterfly in its cocoon. It was struggling with its wings. He thought he would be kind and he untangled it from the cocoon in order to set it free. Unfortunately, the butterfly’s wings were not yet fully formed. It needed more time in the moist cocoon in order to grow properly. Thus, by being freed too early, the butterfly was stunted for the rest of its life.
We can learn from this message to celebrate our areas of incompleteness, our deficiencies. As we say in the after bracha of “borai nefashot”, we bless Hashem “who creates numerous living things with their deficiencies…with which to maintain the life of every being…” We can read this as meaning that our deficiencies not only define us, but also maintain our lives. They give us meaning, purpose, a goal for which to strive.
Rather than see our ineptness, our flaws, our weaknesses as negative (ezeh misken, in my children’s Hebrew), wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all reach a level whereby we celebrate them as the whole purpose of our existence? To feel even more grateful and content for our weaknesses than for our strengths? Imagine having a day where you feel you have achieved absolutely nothing and nothing has flowed smoothly and you failed repeatedly. And then imagine feeling true, deep simcha from knowing that this day was what you were created for! A simcha even greater than that you might have felt on a day when everything flowed. What a wonderful madgrega (level) to be on.
How can we relate this message to our parenting practice this week?
When our children make mistakes, struggle, seem to fail, instead of simply empathizing, we can have faith. Though we can sympathise and share in their disappointments, on the other hand we can try to elevate them by believing deep inside that this is all part of Hashem’s plan. And not just any part, but the underlying purpose for which they were born! These failures and weaknesses are their goal, giving them direction and maintaining their very life. Without such failures, they would be angels and not of this World. Through their struggles they are more likely to seek out and turn to Hashem (and as our parents, so are we), thereby increasing His revelation in this world. In this way their individual struggles leads ultimately to a fulfilment of a national tafkid!
Wishing you much a Shabbat filled with the celebration of all the parts of us, including and especially our deficiencies!
With bracha
Chaiya Danielle Ledder